The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

Tirana Times
By Tirana Times March 30, 2019 12:31

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

Story Highlights

  • “No matter how much ink is spilled so we can be advised how to protect our relationships from infidelity, this hasn’t kept neither men nor women on the edge. Unfaithfulness happens in good marriages, in bad marriages, and even in those countries where you get capital punishment for it.”

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TIRANA, March 27- “So far monogamy has the standard configuration of relationships and it is supposed that if you really love, you are not tempted by others. That is why often wise the issue of flirting or cheating can start a conversation. After the thrill is over and you don’t continue hiding yourself any longer, you can start being more open with one another.”

It is a must-read for all those who might have ever cheated, have been cheated, or that need a new mental and emotional structure in order to understand relationships. Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected – an expression of longing and loss.

“No matter how much ink is spilled so we can be advised how to protect our relationships from infidelity, this hasn’t kept neither men nor women on the edge. Unfaithfulness happens in good marriages, in bad marriages, and even in those countries where you get capital punishment for it. It even happens in open marriages where extramarital sex has been carefully negotiated before. And the freedom of breakup and divorce hasn’t put out of fashion lying and treachery. After I have deeply wallowed into this point of discussion, I came to the conclusion that there is not one simple truth or an all-inclusive typology to describe the test of passion and adultery. The only thing that I can say for sure, is that none of what I am about to tell you is staged,” writes the author. Her book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity from 2017 comes in Albanian in the bookstores, in a publication translated by Artan Miraka and provided by Pegi printing house.

Esther Perel was born in 1958 and is a Belgian psychotherapist who has explored the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for freedom (erotic desire, adventure and distance) in human relationships. The psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 20 million views and her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence became a global phenomenon translated into 25 languages. Her newest book is the New York Times bestseller The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (HarperCollins). Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin?

Perel has been also published in the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Le Monde, The Guardian, The New Yorker and Vogue. She has appeared as a guest in the NPR podcast Brian Lehrer Show, as well in TV shows of Oprah, The Today Show, Dr. Oz and The Colbert Report. Apart from her 30-years long therapeutic experience in New York, Perel is also taught and has been a guest speaker especially with TED in many events worldwide.

 

Tirana Times
By Tirana Times March 30, 2019 12:31