Satire: Albania needs elections every month!

We are finding out all over again here in Albania how beneficial elections can be for a country. Indeed, they’re proving to be ever so motivating and inspiring. So many things that haven’t happened for years are suddenly taking place – such a stark contrast to just a few months previously. Who better to demonstrate this than the election campaigners of the last few weeks?
No more sluggish building work – new roads at last
One used to have to travel on damaged roads and would only occasionally come across men at work repairing them. Every now and then one might have seen a somewhat bored digger operator surrounded by a selection of “managers” to keep everything in order. Things are quite different today. People are feverishly repairing and building all over the place, new roads and tunnels are being opened – the noise of construction doesn’t even die down in the wee hours of the weekend anymore. What can we learn from this? Roads are better at election time.
Successful campaign against high airline prices – bringing families together
The other day I heard from an acquaintance who was pleased to have been able to get her daughter on the list of people to receive a free flight from Italy to Tirana. What luck, what a boon that children, who – due to the better courses on offer – have to study abroad, get to see their families again! And just because it’s election time and votes are being bought, sorry!, are very valuable. What can we learn from this? You can fly for free at election time.
Intense discussions about educational policy and colourful parties
It also must be lovely for the overworked teachers, all getting the day off to have a full and frank discussion about educational policy with their regent. And of course for the kiddies too, being allowed to go out onto the streets and celebrate with all that colourful bunting. A bit annoying perhaps that everyone has to, but hey-ho, that’s life. What can we learn from this? There are days off, interesting conferences and colourful parties at election time.
Social events and lower taxes
There were moving moments in the long queues waiting for this year’s MOT tests. The annual tax on motor vehicles was, after all, halved in mid-May. How we rejoiced! Many, really very many people indeed came to celebrate the event in the long queue before the MOT. Everyone brought provisions and found time to chat with one another. A real sense of communities coming together. What can we learn from this? People find time to talk again during the elections – and taxes get lower too.
Higher wages to say thanks for all the good work
It’s only right that people finally get the pay they deserve, isn’t it? What a good job someone remembered just before the elections. A bit annoying perhaps that the increase won’t take effect until after the elections, but we don’t mind waiting and are all the more pleased about the initiative taken on fair wages – even if this only affects civil servants – aren’t we? It’s a good job too that no penny pinchers can now come along and tell us there’s no money for such a thing! What can we learn from this? Wages are higher at election time.
Consciences awaken to battle social injustice
Doesn’t it always tug at your heart strings to see politicians handing out food parcels to the less fortunate? Across the land one hears and sees that the especially the poor and poorest are receiving the attention they deserve. Even the Roma are now being shown consideration. There is finally a desire to help them to feed their families. That would never have happened if it weren’t for the 23rd June, would it? What can we learn from this? Nobody goes hungry at election time.
No doubt about it – elections are great! Why don’t we have them all the time?
So many wonderful examples of human warmth, solidarity and initiative! Normally our towns are so dreary! There just isn’t enough colour or life. Not like at election time. Jolly bunting, flags and banners everywhere, people gathering all over the place around music or interesting speakers. Much better than having to go to work, isn’t it? And at long last the whole truth is laid bare: Albania is an awful lot richer than we’re led to believe. Taxes can be cut, wages increased, roads built, social injustice battled and transportation revolutionised. Let’s have more of the same! And woe betides the killjoys who are now asking where all the money for the election campaign is coming from or how all of these “good deeds” are going to be paid for in the future! We don’t need such “pessimists”!
Signed: “A. Pessimist”