Location: Undisclosed residence, Tirana.
As an ex-pat living in Tirana there are few things that I anticipate more than a package from home. Loaded with sweets, messages from friends and loved ones, news clippings, and any odd request that the sender decided to fulfill for you; I dare say nothing can really compare.
This week I had been anticipating such a package with some treasured spices that one cannot attain in remote Albania. As I arrived home from work I was greeted by my ever so pleasant neighbor with a white notification slip from the post office, my package had at last arrived.
Handing me the slip and then grabbing me by my elbow and he led me into his home. His generosity knows no bounds but he really does not know how to take no for an answer. I was quite accustomed to this type of behavior and so did not put up a fight since I knew it would be useless. In his kitchen I found a table with plates of fruit and peanuts and what my neighbor claims to be his only vise, two glasses of raki.
I sat down and we raised our glasses to good health and the end of corruption. We chatted about the weather and one glass eventually led to another and then another. Whatever pressing business I may have had will have to wait, I was wrapped up in Albanian hospitality, something I would not trade for anything, even my long awaited package.
My neighbor is meticulously clean; he spent his life working as a biochemist under the Enver Hoxha regime. Long hours of experiments and the slightest room for error made him ever so careful in almost everything he does. A dedicated man and hardworking to the core you can tell by the way he talks that he loved what he used to do. I watch him closely as he carefully washes an apple and then slowly and deliberately peels the skin off.
He was made to retire at the mandatory age even though he felt he could have kept on working. Shortly after retirement communism fell and his only daughter moved to Canada through their lottery system. She earned a degree, then a doctorate, married another immigrant and finally settled down in Victoria, British Columbia.
He speaks of his daughter with such pain and longing. He knows that she is happy and lives a good life in Canada but he can’t help but miss her and his grandson that he has only met twice. He received a visa to go to his daughter’s wedding and they came to visit when he told his daughter that her mother was deathly ill.
She had been diagnosed with cancer and was given only a short time to live. She and her family were given emergency leave and they rushed home.
For my neighbor the visit was bitter sweet. He greeted his daughter, her husband, and the precious grandson, yet he knew the reason for their return was a farewell. While he retells this story you can sense his guilt when he recalls being happy for his family coming home to take care of his sick wife.
Even now as he peels the apples his hands labor in pain. He has arthritis and his pension is not enough for him to always pay for treatment. When his wife first became sick, they did not bother going to the doctor, the hospital would just ask for a bribe, he told me. They had thought at the time that she could not be that sick, and even if she was they could not afford it, and they definitely did not want to bother their daughter with their problems.
Her sickness continued to get worse and when she finally could not handle it anymore they found out that it was too late. The sickness possibly could have been reversed but they had waited too long.
To me, my neighbor represents both the good and the bad in Albania. He is a kind and generous man who would go out of his way for you, yet he is too docile, does not ask for help, and he is a bit stubborn.
Albania has been privileged to play a very special role in recent years. They have had positive economic growth, have aided their neighbors in short wars and conflicts, established positive relations with their neighbors, and have aided in international efforts by sending troops to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. However, even with a global economic crisis Albania is refusing to ask for help. Albania is the only country in the Balkans to not ask for financial aid from the International Monetary Fund. Until very recently their prime minister refused to accept the fact that the country would be affected in any way, even though a major chunk of their economy is based on remittances from emigrants who now find it difficult to find jobs in shrinking economies. Despite what foreign advisors and actors kept repeating, focus on the upcoming elections and wait to apply for the candidate status to the EU, the government marched ahead and turned in their application.
Stubborn? Will not ask for help? When you need help ask for it, when a helping hand is given to you do not turn it away. That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?
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