By Charlotte Morgaine
When this hilarious little episode happened, roughly one month ago, I mentally earmarked it for future reference, to share with the readers of Tirana Times’ Postscript Column, in a little story. Since then I have been pondering about how to “tell the tale” without “crossing the line” and sounding slightly “improper.” After running all sorts of other scenarios through my mind so that I could come to the point of the story by-passing the “rude” parts, I finally decided I’d relate the “no frills,” unadulterated version, as it happened.
For about a week she had been feeling very much out of sorts and generally, under the weather. Everything from not being able to get a good night’s rest, headaches and tummy upsets, mood swings, fits of frustration suffered in martyred silence and calm as she worked doggedly through office hours, probably all signs of a pre-vacation syndrome as the date drew nearer for her to travel. There are many reasons that could cloud the prospect of an on-coming holiday, for example, the location, the people you will spend it with, the expense, etc. Whatever the cause, of the body or of the soul, our dear friend felt “unsettled” or “bothered” about something.
The office door opened and closed quietly behind her. Although I am usually clattering away at the computer keyboard, I do pick up, absorb and follow the sounds and movements around my workplace. It is strange how a part of the brain can be entirely focused on what I’m writing and yet another part is picking up sounds of movements, recognizing and analyzing them and conjuring up possible consequences- all in a matter of seconds. The opening of her office door registers as “a possible visit,” and yet another part of the brain is already saying, “I hope she doesn’t stop, I don’t have time for a chat,” or again, “I wonder if she is feeling any better now, I will ask her.” Someone once told me that a woman has a multi-track brain, meaning her brain can process different thought processes simultaneously. For example a woman can be busily absorbed at work but at the same time she is churning over in her brain how she is going to get to the nursery on time to pick up the baby in the afternoon; were there any onions at home or did she have to buy some on the way. A man’s brain, on the other hand is one-tracked. A man can only focus on one issue at a time, meaning that his brain gives the one issue its all. Whether that means that a man does a more thorough job than a woman of whatever he puts his mind to, or whether it is more beneficial to spread out brain power over several issues simultaneously, is another issue.
“I’m really not feeling well,” our friend moans as she stands beside me rubbing her abdomen.
“Maybe it’s something you’ve eaten,” I venture for the umpteenth time over the past few days.
“No, it’s not that, I just feel queasy most of the time,” she replies letting out a mournful sigh. I willed the brain compartment that was focused on what I was writing, to pause, and devoted full attention to our lovely friend.
“Perhaps you need to see a Doctor and get some medicine, although you are going home in a couple of days and you could do it then,” I murmured unconvincingly.
“I don’t know what I need,” she said glumly, “just something to raise my spirits.”
“What you most likely need my friend is a good dose of Vitamin K1,” I said smugly, trying hard to keep a straight face and waiting for her to “get it” and burst out laughing. All I wanted, at the end of the day, was to provoke a smile especially when I knew that our friend, although not Albanian herself, was familiar with the expression.
“Really”, came the swift response, “and what effect does Vitamin K have, does it perk you up? Where can I get some?” This was too much, I burst out laughing and watched as the lights slowly went on upstairs and her bewilderment turned to disbelief that she had not caught on immediately and finally, great mirth, as she laughed wholeheartedly with me, probably acknowledging agreement at the idea. Thinking that the moment had passed, my eyes strayed back to the blinking cursor on the screen, but the crescendo had yet to come.
Shaking with laughter, our lovely friend said in gulps, “I am such an ‘Albanski reaotan,” how come I didn’t get that..!!” Again I was looking up at her, but this time with a puzzled look on my face.
“What did you just say,” I asked, “an Albanski what?”
She doubled up laughing, and for a few moments I couldn’t make any sense out of her giggling and garble.
“Albanski reaotan,” she said. “It’s an expression that goes back to the sixties. What do you call the coil of wire in a heater that goes red when it heats up?” our friend asked.
“The element of a heater,” I ventured.
“Exactly,” giggle, giggle came the answer. “This expression is widely used in Bulgaria. I didn’t know myself why we used it until a friend of mine here in Albania explained to me that in the sixties Bulgaria imported domestic heaters manufactured in Albania. The coils of wire or the elements in these heaters were so thick that it took forever for them to heat up, let alone go red. So every time a person was slow on the uptake they were referred to as an “Albanski reotan”. And the expression has just stuck. The younger generation uses it today and has no idea what its origin is.”
Now, it was my turn to laugh. I thought this was a delightful little story and could not stop marveling at how the expression came to be. This is why I share it with you.
